Wow Ilan, you look fantastic. What a body, what muscles. You look so strong I know, I know. It’s true. How did you do it? Nothing special, just the usual things - diet, and lots of exercise. I workout every day. Every day huh? Wow. I bet the girls really chase you. Yes, I don’t deny it. My body really tempts the girls. Yeah, I’ll bet they can’t keep their hands off you. Like I said, I don’t deny it. You saw Hadas in the last lesson. She couldn’t keep her hands off me. She refused to sit where she could not touch me, and the teacher had to throw her out of the class just so I could have some peace. Yes. I was so jealous. Please, please, please Ilan, tell me how to get muscles like yours. Aha, now I understand why you were giving me all those compliments about my wonderful body. You want me to tell you how to strengthen your muscles, so that you will be strong like me. I don’t deny it. Why should I enlarge the number of gorgeous, handsome hunks in class? One like me is enough for the girls to handle. Oh please, I want to tempt the girls too. Sorry. I’ll pay you for your body-building secrets. How much? Ten dollars. I’ll never give away my secrets! We have to protect the girls from too much beauty! Fifty dollars. On the other hand, let them suffer a little. For fifty dollars, you’ve got a deal. Oh thank you, thank you, thank you you are so generous. And what about good-looking. And good looking. I don’t deny it. So here’s fifty bucks, now tell me what to do. Well, if you want to increase your muscles, but decrease your fat....., I do, I do. Then the first thing you have to remember is diet. Diet?? Diet!! Oh, do I have to? I don’t mean go on a diet. Just watch your diet, watch what you eat Oh that’s O.K. I always watch what I eat. I like to look at food. No, I mean, don’t eat too much. Just eat everything in moderation. Moderation is the keyword here. Don’t make a pig of yourself. Of course not, I’m kosher. No, I mean just eat moderate amounts of food. Don’t exaggerate. O.K. But how much is a moderate amount of food, for breakfast for example? Well, for breakfast I eat two slices of brown bread, with a little cheese. Two? I eat six. Six? And some cheesecake. Cheesecake?? And some pancakes with strawberry jam and cream of course. Hmm, I see you have a vigorous appetite. Oh yes, it’s vigorous alright. Well, forget it. Here’s your fifty dollars. You’ll never tempt a girl in your life! O.K., O.K. Keep the money. I’ll eat in moderation. Two slices of bread for breakfast?? Yes. Two slices of bread for breakfast.... I’ll manage somehow. Good, a healthy body is a happy body. You won’t be sorry. And you should drink for breakfast too. Great!! You should drink milk, or orange juice, or even both. What, no beer? Milk!!! O.K. O.K. No beer, no cheesecake. Are you sure the consequences of this diet will be increased muscles on a beautiful body? No. No???!! What else do I have to do? You have to get fit, man, and you have to keep fit, like me. You have to exercise. You have to lift weights and run every day like me. What have I got a motorbike for? Sell your motorbike and you should have enough to buy the best Nike running shoes. Run??? Run!!! If I run too much I risk premature death. It’s not healthy. Premature death? Don’t be silly. Running can’t kill you. It can’t?? No, it can’t. It killed my neighbour. What do you mean? He used to go running every day. And that killed him? Yes, he was run over by an ambulance. Idiot. Don’t run on the road. But run to school every day. Every day?? I get tired when I run for the bus. Look, I promise you, if you run regularly, your performance will improve everyday. Yes, I know really. I know exercising regularly is the only way to keep fit. But .... Think of those girls. Yeah!!! Girls!!! Think how they’ll love my new, improved body. That’s the spirit. Go out there and run. Yes, run, run!! RUN!!! For all those lucky girls. Wait! Wait? Wait!! Where are you going? I’m going to run. Look, that will improve the muscles in your legs. Yes. It will strengthen my legs fantastically. That’s the spirit! People will come from miles around to see your legs. Yeah, yeah. My beautiful legs. My lovely legs. But running won’t do much to enlarge the muscles in your skinny arms. Oh. My arms. You are right. What do I have to do to build them up? Tell me, tell me!! Simple, you have to lift weights. You have to exercise regularly with them . How regularly? Every day of course. Of course. Every day. I’ll do it. Will you persist? You won’t give up? I’ll persist alright. I’ll lift weights and I’ll run regularly, every day!! And you’ll eat in moderation. Moderation!! Look Erez, I’ll tell you the truth. I don’t think you’ll persist with it. You’re too lazy. I know you. But if you do it, I’ll give you back your fifty dollars. Deal? Deal!! Thanks a lot. You’re a great guy! I don’t deny it. And don’t forget, I’m good-looking too. ONE MONTH LATER Hi Orit. Do you want to come out with me again tonight? No thanks. What? Why not? I’m going out with Erez. Erez? Why not? Have you seen him lately? No. Well you should. He looks fantastic, you should see his muscles. O.K. I’ll ask Sharon. She’s always wanted me to go out with her. Say, Sharon .. Sorry, I’m going with Erez now. Oh. O.K. Say, Maya .. Erez!! Hadas? Erez!! THE NEXT DAY Hi Erez, come here will you, I want to .......wow, you really do look fantastic. It’s amazing. One month and you’ve got muscles bigger than mine. How the hell did you do it? Did you do a lot of regular exercise? No. Did you eat moderate amounts of food? No I didn’t. Then how did you increase all your muscles like that? How did you enlarge your chest? Now it’s bigger than mine! Hell, it’s bigger than Schwarznegger’s. How did you do it? Don’t you want to give me something first? Huh?? Like a hundred dollars? A hundred? Fifty! I said I’d give you back the fifty if you persisted. But you just told me you didn’t do regular exercise, or eat in moderation. HOW THE HELL DID YOU DO IT?? For a hundred dollars I’ll tell you. Is it a deal? O.K. I’ve got to know. Here. Now, HOW did you do it?????? From reading. From reading?? From reading. See, I read this column about getting fit and building muscles in a weight-lifting magazine. You read a column in a magazine?? That’s what I said. So what did this column say for goodness sake? It said that if you want to increase your muscles quickly you can take steroids. Steroids? Are you crazy?? That’s a synthetic hormone. So what? I feel fine. I took high doses, and look how fast they worked. High doses? Look, it’s really dangerous to take so much. You are really risking a premature death. Oh rubbish, I feel fine. Where did you read this crap about it being dangerous? It’s not crap. I read the newspaper columns too. There was an article about a boy who took steroids to increase his muscles, and he died. Rubbish!! I’m not joking. You must stop at once. Huh! You are just jealous of me now. No, really. Steroids have lots of dangerous side effects. Like what? Well, they have negative behaviour effects. You are lying to me. They can cause anger and violent feelings and forgetfulness. Nonsense. HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME. YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS!!! Help. What are you doing ?? I’m throwing you out of the window you bastard. How dare you say steroids cause violent feelings and forgetfulness. Help!! Put me down!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ....... Violent feelings and forgetfulness indeed. Rubbish!!! Say, Ilan, where have you gone? Weren’t we just talking about something??